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THE INTERNET ADVENTURES OF STUPIDMAN #3
| Stupidman Brands the Book, Sends Email Attachment
This is the 4th issue of The Internet Adventures of
Stupidman. If you can't find the previous issues and you
really want them......you need a hobby. Just kidding,
email email@example.com(remember the "junk" email
address assignment in the 3rd issue?}. I only check this
account a couple times a week but I will respond.
If you are reading this, then the idea I took from
Internet Profit Pearls in Chapters 4&11 really works. Can
you believe what's happening? My family (The Boss,Greased
Lightning,Fashion Girl) say stuff to me (or at me) all the
time. I get to turn it against them in publication(at
least that's the feedback they're giving me).
Unbelievable, I can potentially make money by writing about
how I'm abused by my family. I've already got the next 3
issues outlined in my mind. To think I can capitalize on
my ignorance, America truly is the Land of Opportunity.
My hero, me, er....Stupidman is still trying to enter this
millenium by doing the exercises contained in the free
chapters of Internet Profit Pearls (IPP).
I have read the free chapters and have signed up for most
of the affiliate programs that promised me small fortunes.
(Including one that cost $50, I'm an affiliate of 14 or 15
programs). Some of the programs would only accept me if I
had a website (which I don't) so I signed off on a
website/hosting agreement with the publisher of IPP,
startingfromzero.com (describes my situation perfectly) for
$6 a month. (Read Chapter 3, last screen first, and you'll
As I intend to resell the book I have to brand my copy.
The publisher will brand the free chapters for $27 and the
entire book for $47 but I'm on a budget. (I actually read
the free chapters,bought the book,got the book review idea
in the non-free chapters and then started on these
exercises. Under normal circumstances I would have paid
$47 and have been done with it. The punishment I have
inflicted upon myself at least results in another
I made a list of my special urls that I received from the
affiliate programs. (Techies call it u-r-l, they go crazy
if you pronounce it earl. Try it!) There's a file in the
book called Read Me First which has the instructions for
branding. It's pretty easy to follow until you get to item
6 which says click the "Edit Field" button. I must have
spent 5 minutes staring at the console looking for the
nonexistent button. Press the "Edit Brand" button, the
computer won't blow up, I promise.
Item 8 does not assume Stupidman would read this book so
with the reluctant assistance of Greased Lightning I will
expand on this instruction. Put cursor on the "with value"
field and click, then, use the right arrow on the keyboard
to move text. Delete what you don't want then type in your
stuff. If you spot a screwup before you hit ok press
cancel and try again. If you press ok before you notice a
screwup I don't know what to tell you. (This is not to say
Stupidman didn't screwup, merely that it was not noticed.
Ignorance can be bliss.)
Some companies have several affiliate programs (like
roibot). If you signed up for one you're probably in all
of them, so brand all versions of the same company.
I spent a lot of time,unsuccessfully, trying to check my
branded links. Finally gave up but I'm sure I did it right.
I emailed the author to inquire how to upload to the IPP
hosted site but was told (I thought his tone was kind of
snippy) there was NO WAY he would allow Stupidman to upload
and that I needed to email the branded book as an
A new challenge, but this turned out to be surprisingly
easy. Our email uses Outlook Express and Help is at the
top of the screen. Help leads to Contents which is where I
found Attachments. Using the selective printing function
described in an earlier issue, I copy the "insert a file in
a message" instructions. Hard copy in hand I attach the
branded book and send it off into cyberspace (hopefully in
the general direction of the author).
Coming Soon: Stupidman Creates SIG File,Opens Lock
Can Stupidman Use IPP and Be a Bazillionaire
Stupidman Explores Alt key,Printing W/O Paper
P.S. My son, Greased Lightning, has critiqued the first
three (already published) issues and (agrees with my name)
says there is no Pkzip, should have said PKWARE. Sorry.
The Internet Adventures Of Stupidman
Will Put A Smile On Your Face
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Copyright 2002, Skidthrough Enterprises
About the Author
Stupidman's funny tutorial about building his website from scratch. 16+ sequential articles.